Special Thanks

I wanted to take this time to thank a few key people who made this trip special for my mother and I. Without them, this trip would not have been possible and we could not have had the experience of a lifetime.

Nhe

From the moment we stepped out of the airport and into the waiting crowd, I met Nhe with her big smile and knew that we would be friends. She is my second-cousin on my mother's side. Our mothers grew up together and love each other like sisters. Nhe consistently helped me throughout the trip - from coming over at 10pm to give me a USB rocket stick so I would be able to blog to lending me her cellphone for three weeks so that I wouldn't have to pay the ridiculous international roaming fees on my Blackberry. She was my source of transportation - driving me around on her moped/scooter all around Saigon from house to house, market to market, to and from everywhere I needed to go. When we shopped, she helped me bargain. When we were on the tour, she called to check up on us. She scheduled the glamor shots for me and picked up the pictures. I could not have asked for a better friend throughout this trip - and I honestly think that without Nhe, I would have not have been able to survive with my mother alone! She was my source of comfort and support for the entire trip and I am forever grateful to have met her!

Uncle Hung (Cau Hung) & Di Mo

Cau Hung and Di Mo were both such a great help for the weeks that we were in Vietnam. Cau Hung drove us around on his tour bus and literally helped us with everything that we needed. They both fed us with great lavish meals and I could tell that they took pleasure in feeding the entire family - including their brothers/sisters/nephew/nieces. They were both a pleasure to be around and made me laugh so much. Without Cau Hung, we would not have been able to get a refund for our botched tour and we would not have been able to go see Thu Duc the first week we were in Saigon. I was sad that he could not see us off at the airport but am grateful that we got to share one last meal together before we left.

Mom's Family

My mom's entire family of aunts/uncles/cousins - to my aunts, who helped me shop for an ao dai and for driving us around town. Special thanks to Di Chien who was my mother's confidant and best friend throughout this trip. Thank you for loving my mother like a sister and for showing me that good people do exist. To Co Hai who shared her understanding of Vietnam and took the time to explain things to me. To my cousins - all of them! - who took the time to go out with me - for coffee, food, movie and fun. They kept me entertained and showed me that Vietnam is a special place. Thank you for everything!!

Uncle Tung

Although my uncle wasn't physically in Vietnam, he gave us full access to his condo and my mother and I were incredibly grateful for this space. We had our own space in which to relax during our entire trip - and I honestly believe that without it, we would have gone insane! He called us a few times to check up on us and to make sure we had everything we needed. I am grateful for his generous heart and to have had the opportunity to stay in the heart of Saigon, close to my family.

Tour Friends: Ha Truong and Hiep & Chau Lam

I met Ha in the first leg of the tour while we were traveling through Northern Vietnam. She was with her 82 year-old grandmother and we found comfort in each other. When our grandmother/mother couldn't climb the stairs, she took my hand and made sure I was never alone.

Hiep and Chau Lam were a surprise connection. They were so generous as they offered to help my mother and I as we climbed the hills of DaNang. Hiep held my mother's hand and her water bottle and Chau fanned my mother to make sure she didn't overheat and lose control. They both showed extreme patience and I can't thank them enough. Without them, my mother would have never made it to the top of that hill and seen the most beautiful sights of Vietnam.

Readers of the Blog

I know that there have been a few avid readers of the blog because every time I logged on, there were an extra 50 hits or so. Thank you for keeping me motivated to write because I knew that you were reading and coming back for more. Google Analytics showed me that there were people reading throughout Canada, US, UK, Vietnam and Denmark. Every blog that I've written, I've felt humbled by the amount of friends and family who follow me along my journey of discovery. You keep me writing.

SS

I know that I am lucky to have married right - to a man who never stands in my way and encourages me to be a better person always. In the three weeks that I was absent from my home, he took care of the house, entertained my father and even went out of his way to fix my closet in order to surprise me when I returned. There are no words to describe how grateful I am for him and his love.

A Letter to Vietnam

Dear Vietnam,

Growing up, you were but a vision in my mind. I pictured you with tall palm trees and salty beaches, sand and soot, scorching sun and humidity. I never knew that you could be so much more beautiful. I remembered so little of you when we parted and yet, I felt like you were a constant friend my whole life. You were the setting of a great love story that I heard growing up and from that story, I romanticised the life that I would have led had I stayed...

When I saw you again for the first time in 28 years, I felt like I was going to a familiar place with familiar people. From the crowded, congested streets of Saigon to the hills of Da Nang to the rice paddies of Hanoi to the rustic abodes of Hue and the fruit gardens of Cai Be...you have shown me that simplicity and humility can be enough in this life. You have shown me that even with so little, I can be happy and grateful for an opportunity to walk and breathe in this beautiful world.

Thank you for showing me your imperfections because in seeing them, I am able to appreciate my own luxuries. I saw that life there can be difficult - with harsh weather and limited resources - but your people are resilient and make the best of what you offer them. I came home grateful for my land, my home, and my family because to take these things for granted would be a shame. I saw your poor begging for money and a chance to be better and it broke my heart; but even then, my faith in people was renewed because even in those circumstances, many of your people showed us generosity and love without expecting anything in return.

You have taught me a lot in this lifetime about my home, my country, my family, my self. I have learned that you will always hold a dear place in my heart - I can walk around your streets and proudly know that my face is resembled in the faces of strangers. My mother has loved you all of her life because she planted roots there so long ago. I would like to plant a root there too, next to hers and come back every so often to see how far it's grown.

Vietnam, you are now but a vision in my mind but I can still see, taste, hear and feel your presence. I am forever grateful for being able to visit you with my mother because as we all grow older, I will always be able to share this with her and you will always be the place we return to when we grow weary of each other.

I am sorry it took so long to visit you, friend. I promise, it won't ever be that long again...

Goodbye, Vietnam...

We left Vietnam at approximately 11:20am on Wednesday morning and I didn't expect to be that emotional. We woke up early to get ready and do some last minute packing before my cousin showed up at 7am for the keys to my uncle's apartment. I was getting used to early mornings since I woke up most of the time at 4am to my mother staring at me from her side of the bed. She was always so anxious to get her day started that by the time I opened my eyes, she was already smiling and greeting me with a perky, "Good morning! What do you want for breakfast?"

Wednesday morning was no different. I woke up to my mother looking at me and laughing...then she proclaimed, "Today we are going home!" She hadn't been homesick in three weeks and all of a sudden, she said she couldn't wait to sleep in her own bed and to see Lana, her granddaughter. We got showered and dressed, ready by 6am and then we laid in bed and talked about how great the trip was and how lucky we were to have seen so much in just three weeks.

At 7:30am, my cousin Nhe came over with breakfast - banh cuon! We decided we would wait until we were at the airport to eat it because we were both a ball of nerves before flying. When we got to the airport with our entourage, I was already feeling so sad. I knew that it would be sad to go but I didn't realize that the tears would come out like that! At one point, I looked at Nhe - my confidant and friend for three weeks - and she started to tear up. I looked away from her and saw our mothers embracing and I remembered my mother telling me that growing up, Auntie Chien was the closest thing she had to a big sister. I thought about how we immediately loved each other because we had blood ties and how my mother had probably left like this 30 years before. And then, as any child reacts when she sees her mother crying, I couldn't help but join her in her sadness.

And there it was... the end of the journey back to Vietnam..

Day 18 - Shopping in Vietnam

Today is our last day in Vietnam and we decided to hit up the market again for some last minute bargains and gifts for the family here. I have to admit, this is the first time I've actually felt exhausted before I even started to shop! I love a great bargain but I am all bargained out and as much as I'd like to bring back souvenirs for everyone, I think most of the time, the items don't have as much sentiment to others as they do for me. Plus, I have absolutely no room to pack any clothes... I should have packed less or even brought an extra suitcase!

Spending money in Vietnam is really dangerous - mainly because $1 USD = $20,000 Vietnamese Dong (VND). It's so hard to keep track of how much you're actually spending! In Vietnam, I am a millionaire...but a million VND = $50 USD. I exchanged a bunch of money the other day because I wanted to treat the family to a nice dinner and I literally got a stack of cash. Now, I don't know about you but I have never held this many bills together in my life before! I had to separate it all out and use rubber bands to keep it together.

With shopping, I am finding it so difficult to calculate how much things actually cost in comparison to US/CAD prices. For example, I bought a silky shirt and when the girl told me the price of 200K dong, my cousin immediately said no. She said it should only cost 130K. When I did the calculations later in my head, I realized that it was a difference between $10US and $6.50US. That shirt would have cost me about $25 in Canada! The thing is, you always have to bargain...if you just stand there and say it's too expensive without offering a different price, the vendors get really insulted.

I thought that I was good at bargaining until I tried to do it in Vietnam...I'm no match for these vendors. They know all the tricks! Now I know where my mother learned her shameless bargaining. She did it over and over again at the markets. Here's the technique - start with a low-ball - sometimes, almost at %40 below the asking price. Then, you go back and forth a little until you meet half way; in between prices, you mention something like, "Give me a good price this time and I'll be sure to come back for more!" If that doesn't work, pretend that you're leaving and tell them that you're going to go to the store down the aisle that will sell it to you for cheaper. That almost ALWAYS works here!

Shopping is a whole other experience here in Vietnam. I keep seeing the foreigners in the marketplace trying to bargain and the Vietnamese folks playing the same techniques in their broken English. I'm in awe of the people who have gone into business here and how they operate. I know it would never fly in North America, but in Vietnam, this is normal - the bantering back and forth and then smiling once the money is exchanged. It's exhausting for me because I have no idea how much things should actually cost and I feel as though I'm bargaining to pay so little for something that usually costs me so much in Canada! I think that if I lived in Vietnam, this would be a lot easier - my cousins seem to be pros at it and I've been so grateful for the company on these shopping trips!

My mother and I also stopped at the grocery store the other day to buy water and household supplies. I was told that if we wanted fair pricing for anything - including liquor - we should head to the supermarket. When we were there, I bought a bunch of brandy as gifts for my family here in Vietnam and it turned out to be quite a heavy load for us to carry home. The cashier handed us our change and said, "Do you want it delivered to your house? This is a service we offer if you live nearby." This is something you don't always find in North America - the customer service in Vietnam is very good!

Everything that is needed for basic living is very cheap in Vietnam. What is extremely expensive are luxuries that we often take for granted in North America. Cars are twice the price - a basic Honda Civic can cost up to $40K USD here in Vietnam! The little scooters range from $1-3K USD, depending on how many options you want. Housing is fairly cheap but the catch is - you have to pay for it all upfront. There are no mortgages here because lending money is frowned upon - you shouldn't have what you can't pay for upfront. Those who cannot afford to buy or build their houses end up renting. You can buy a brand new condo in a high-rise building for as little as $40K USD and it will come with many of the upgrades.

I have been overwhelmed with how easy it is to spend money in Vietnam and how wonderful the shopping is. I almost wish I had more time and more space in my luggage to buy more but it's probably best that I stay modest with my spending. It is so easy to lose track of what you have spent here!

Day 17 - Thu Duc & Glamor Shots

We decided to get up early today and head to Thu Duc again to meet with more of my father's side of the family. We've been to Thu Duc twice now and it's always been so rushed. Being ready to leave at noon, we were told at the last minute that it might be best to go there for the early afternoon instead. So my mother and I took a walk out to grab some lunch and then headed back to the condo to rest (aka, afternoon nap).

When we go to Thu Duc, we met with my other cousins on my father's side. I have no idea how to address people in my family sometimes because the family is so big and I don't know whose family goes before whose. I have been calling everyone "aunty" or "uncle" and my mother keeps reminding me that I'm supposed to address them as "brother" or "sister." Anywho, I have a cousin who I call "Co Ty" (translation: Brother Ty) and he's a second cousin on my father's side who is the same age as my parents but on the same "level" as I am. He now lives in Vietnam and I haven't seen him in 5 years so we were all so excited to see each other.

Instead of staying in Thu Duc, we were taken by taxi to Bien Hoa, another district nearby Saigon. I must say that I'm learning about all these different cities within Vietnam and I find that each of them has a different feel. Bien Hoa is an up-and-coming district in Vietnam and I could tell that a lot of development has been taking place. New condo buildings are going up, new restaurants are being opened and the nightlife is taking off.

We went for dinner at a seafood joint where every dish we were served was completely fresh. We were placed in a VIP room and dish after dish was like an adventure. We tried everything from eel to soft-shell crabs. I can't say that it was my favourite of food experiences but it was definitely worth a try. When we were finished with dinner, my cousin took us to a cafe that had an amazing patio. This is kind of how I pictured Vietnam to be - many cafe patios, taking advantage of the wonderful tropical weather. It started to rain heavily while we were having coffee but it felt so much cooler and because we were sheltered from the rain, it was just so pretty to watch and hear.

It was a late night for us and we didn't get back from Thu Duc until after 10pm. I was exhausted...and then I thought of my glamor shots and I was re-energized from sheer embarrassment. Here's a preview:

Day 16 - Cái Bè (Mekong Delta Region)

Today we had a very early start and my mother and I woke up thinking we were back on the tour again! We had set the alarm for 5am but didn't get out of bed until at least 5:3o. By 6:15, we were on my uncle's tour bus and heading towards the Mekong Delta, specifically the district of Cái Bè. I've been hearing for days from my mother about what Cai Be was like when she was a child and the last time she was there, she went with my father to introduce him to the family.

Cai Be is a river-side town that is very very rural. My grandmother and her 10 siblings grew up. Of all the Luong siblings, only my grandmother and her older sister are still alive. This is a side of my family that I have never known before and am only meeting for the first time, so this was a bit of an adventure for me. From Saigon, we drove through Cho Lon (direct translation is Big Market), where my mother says a lot of Chinese people settled in Vietnam. I could tell because every single store there had both Chinese and Vietnamese characters and when we stopped for breakfast at a noodle shop, the servers were all speaking Chinese!

After breakfast, the car ride was about 2 hours long and I was passed out the entire time so I have no idea what it looks like from Saigon to Cai Be! When we got to the bridge leading into Cai Be, my mother woke me up and said, "This is the bridge where the bus used to stop and we'd have to walk a mile to get in!" I could tell my mother was a little apprehensive all morning so I asked her if she was all right and she said that she is really afraid of the "monkey bridge." I had never heard of this term before and when she explained it to me, I was more than excited to see it! That's when my uncle yelled out that the road now goes right into neighbourhood and we would only need to walk a few meters to the house - no more monkey bridge!

I didn't expect to be in such a rural setting - and to be right by the river also. My great-grandparents' property is huge and it is surrounded by hundreds of fruit trees. There are longans, oranges, limes, pomelos, mango, starfruit, jackfruit, and bananas - just to name a few. On the way in, we picked bunches of longans from neighbouring trees and feasted on them as we walked.

About 40 people were already at the house cooking up a storm in anticipation for our arrival. I couldn't believe how fast everyone had gotten together - it was only 9am in the morning! When we got there, there was already a feast prepared for us - banh xeo, congee, roasted duck, roasted pork, fresh greens and fresh bread. I wasn't able to feast in the usual way because 1) it was still 9am and 2) I was afraid that if I ate too much, there would be no proper bathroom facilities to use! After brunch, my cousins and I decided to take a walk into the orchard of fruit trees. I felt like I was venturing into a jungle because there were trees and ants everywhere! We had a great time just walking along the trail - even though the fruit wasn't ripe enough to pick yet.

The most delicious thing I ate today was the fresh jackfruit that was prepared for us after brunch. It had been sitting in a fridge all morning so it was nice and cool. I've never had fresh jackfruit before because it always comes in a can or frozen in Canada. The fruit is usually served in syrup over ice. However, as soon as the fresh jackfruit hit my mouth, I was in LOVE... this could easily become one of my favourite fruit! It was perfectly ripe as well.

We left Cai Be shortly after lunchtime because we planned on being back in Saigon for 4pm to beat the traffic. I was sad to go because all that preparation had gone in to only a few hours of fun. My great-aunt was sad to see us go as well and she cried as she told me to take care of myself. We all took turns putting money in her pockets because we were told she likes to take a mile hike everyday to go buy lottery tickets. :) I was mostly grateful for the experience and to have my cousins there to entertain me and take me out into the jungle. haha

My mother had a fun day too - although she was mostly nervous because it had been so long since she'd been to her grandparents' home. She was worried about the journey there because she obviously doesn't have the 26 year-old energy that she used to and because she remembers being so overwhelmed by the visits when she was younger. Although, in conversations today with my great-uncle's widow, we found out that my mother was actually born in Cai Be at the house! She was confused at first because she said, "But all of my paperwork says I was born in Thu Duc." That's when the widow told her that my grandmother actually gave birth to her in Cai Be and when they took her in to the actual hospital, they decided to make the trek into Thu Duc to get the paperwork written up. So this place that she has been so afraid to revisit is actually her birthplace!

This entire trip is coming to an end in only two days and I'm overwhelmed at the thought of what we've gone through in the past 16 days. My mother says that while I will be happy to be returning to my husband, she is feeling a little bittersweet. While she misses her life and family in Canada, she knows that she will miss her family and friends in Vietnam - it was almost easier to have left for so long and not come back at all than to come back and realize what she's been missing all of these years. I can tell that her mind is working overtime as she tries to think of a way to visit more often. She now realizes why my grandparents are eager to sit through the 20+ hour plane ride to get back "home" to Vietnam.

It's been a bit of an emotional day for me and I know that we have much to do in the coming days...